One, T...

Posted by Analyse at 5:46 PM

Monday, February 26, 2007

Having a baby is a no joke. It demands YOU, as a whole. No part-time or full-time parenting. There's just no rule. I don't consider myself a part-time Mom because I'm with my daughter from 6 to 9pm everyday. I believe that parenting has only one common goal - to give the best for their children - whatever their means. And again, there's no rule.

Frenchguy and I lived for more than 4 years together before having Louna. And it was a common decision. Our 2 years of long distance relationship was not enough to really know each other so we agreed to take our time. We wanted to explore our life together without a kid. And when the time came to have a baby, we both knew it. It was instinct. We were ready to become parents.

But second-time parents? Errrr... He's ready. I am not. That's the problem.

For Moms out there, how did you know that it was time for the second one? Do you consult your Chinese calendar? Do you do it by vote? Because your horoscope says so? You toss a coin? You ask a fortune teller? Or you just wake up one morning and feel ready?

Well, I'm quite lost. I don't even know why I am not ready? And me thinks it's important for a happy pregnancy. Yelp!

30 comments:

chase said...

I hope I can help heheheh. Ive been dreaming though to have my own child. I'll just wait a little bit more for that.

Makis said...

Just think about Louna having a baby sister or brother! Although my opinion lacks credibility for not having my own kids yet, I already cannot stand the idea of my child being alone in the world :D

KK said...

Hi Ana,

I thought I wasn't ready to become a mom myself. Things worked itself out.

But now, Little K is 5 years old already... I am at a crossroad too. Either go back to work full-throttle when she goes to school or do I think of having child #2.

tintin said...

I think you just know when you're ready or not. Remind your dear husband that he is not the one who will carry it after all! LOL!

JO said...

Maganda din sundan na ngayon, at least they will grow up together.

Mas mahirap naman yung 5 or more years ang gap nila, kasi you have to start all over again [changing diaper and sleepless nights].

sexy mom said...

oh, analyse, i wish i had the answer to your question. you know, i did not even bother about that question during my fertile years. babies came one after the other, before i knew it, there were 7! yah, i am not kidding. but no matter, i treat them the same anyway, they're my joys, my 7 blessings.

Louna is your blessing...another baby is a blessing. life is not always easy, but i had blind faith during those early years, i still do, and HE continues to provide. He will continue to guide you and provide for you...trust Him!

Linnor said...

A healthy gap between siblings is 2-3 years. Your body has healed completely and Louna is old enough to appreciate having a baby sister or brother. :D Just my 2-cents worth.

analyse said...

Chase, you're still too young... enjoy!

Makis, i always dreamt of that.. it's probably the fact that frenchguy and family want one.. so i tend to resist hehe..

KK, so im not alone... let me know which way you take ;) and why.

Tintin, i already told him that hehe..

Jo, i'm thinking about that too... parang it's just too early kasi, louna's just 15 months.

Sexy Mom, im sure my mom will answer in the same way as you... life is just different outside the Phils.. parents will have to do everything at home after work.. and i want to spend more time with Louna...

Linnor, i've heard that it's the best gap nga, there's more complicity between siblings.. if i target 3 years, then i still have time hehe..

Agring said...

Abby is about 2 1/2 now so I'm ready to have another one...hehehe! I don't know why I'm ready I just do. I think it's because of my age.
You are right having kids is no joke. I'm not only full-time Mom I'm also full-time working Mom.

Sali ka sa scrapping challenge. Beat the deadline..hehehe! 2 weeks ago pa ksi nyan nag-umpisa eh!

Analyse said...

Agring, me thinks im still young so i could still wait hehe.. kaya lang reklamo na si frenchguy..

i saw the challenge nga, bitin, cant beat the deadline na.

haze said...

You know my babies story Ana, I thought I would not have kids but it just happened and that is why I'm thankful !

I understand that you are not ready for a second child. It's not because of responsibilities but because Louna is still young and you are too! You need to profit and still follow her developments! Wait until she's 3 years old Ana it's the best age difference! When you decide to have your 2nd baby Louna will be autonome by that time. She could even help you with little things. She understands better, napansin ko kasi kay basti at mimi eh 2 and 3 mos lang ang pagitan nila minsan nauutusan ko na si Basti :)! Like can you give me the glass of Mimi, or can you throw the diaper, or can you look after your sister if she will make bêtises, then tell me and he's doing his job as a kuya! He eats alone while I am feeding Mimi, kuha mo :) !

These are some things that might help you to reconsider later on having a 2nd baby :). I hope my testimony will help you a bit :) !

To answer all your questions, hehehe syempre after Basti we didn't have contraceptives kaya ayon nasundan na kaagad si Basti and since frenchhoney loves children he was the happiest father when we had Mimi, aba at humihingi na nga ng pangatlo ! Sabi ko break muna, well see later on hahahah ! Magmadali ba daw asawa ko !

myla said...

It's tough especially once you are closer to delivery date and realize that your first-born child will no longer be the only "apple of your eye." But it really is worth it. It is amazing to see how my six-month old anak interacts with my three-year old...ibang klase ang bond nila. For me, I knew I wanted more than one child and I did not want to wait too long dahil tumatanda na rin ako (mid-30s)...did not want to take too many chances. This fact made my decision super-easy. Good luck!

Analyse said...

Haze, it would be a tough decision for me i guess... i need to be really ready myself..

pagbigyan na si hubs ;)

Myla, oh, that's one of my concerns too.. but i guess Louna will appreciate having a sibling.. but not just yet..

thanks for dropping by ;)

ann said...

Pag 2 yrs na si Louna pwede na. By the time na manganak ka ulit eh 3 yrs old na sya. Maghahanap kasi yan ng kalaro soon.

analyse said...

Ann, hay naku, hirap maging nanay no..

Leah said...

My daughter is almost 6 pero di pa rin nasusundan. In my case, i've been ready for the next one since she was 2 but my hubby does not want to have another one. Opposite pala tayo. It has to be a joint decision, both of you has to be ready. And dont think it is just so you can provide a sibling to Louna but simply because you want to rear another child, to experience the joys of another small creature in your hands.

Lynneth said...

A friend once said "you are never ready until the baby pops out!" I say the baby has popped out almost 3 years ago and I still feel not-so-ready! he he he.... it's a challenge talaga, you learn as you go on... Umoo ka na kc kay french hubby para ate na kaagad si Louna. Kami ng frenchie ko, at least on par kami sa decision na ito... hindi pa pwede pangalawa ;-)

Jovs said...

Hi Analyse! Congratulations pa rin... it'll be great. Mahirap talaga (nagsasalita lang ako, not from experience, but because there are 4 of us and I dunno how my parents managed!)... but God wouldn't give you one if He doesn't think that you're up for it. Nandyan na eh, be happy! All the best.

At... oo nga pala, mas mabilis magpa-sexy ulit pag sunod-sunod na pregnancy, diba? One, two, three, Go..kabooom, then stop. =p

Analyse said...

leah, i loved what you said, ill bear that in mind ;) thanks.

Lynneth, haha, i guess that's it.. you will never be ready nga siguro.

Jovs, ngek, im not yet preggy... pinag uusapan pa lang sa bahay hehe.

Francesca said...

Take it from your lola francesca: after 6 years, kasi malaki na si louna non, pwede na mautusan mag ligpit ng diapers ng kalat, etc etc.

Children are work too. And it took 20 years of feeding, schooling and dressing them up 4 seasons in a year.
And you are working ana. And uli:
you are still young, you can have many kids, football team if you like. Time {and money ) always to consider eh...

Lucille said...

opps last na ako dito..hihi! kami naman ni hubby, last year pa sana gusto na nya magkaroon ng 3rd bb, kaya lang i always change my mind...i agree with him then in the last minute umatras ako! gusto ko kasi tapusin muna ang dapat tapusin! LOL eto nga kinukulit na ako lagi ni hubz laging tanong kailan raw ako matatapos sa driving lessons ko. Sabi ko, hindi pa talaga pwede kc after driving, gusto ko uuwi muna ng PI, then maybe go to school & try magtake ng formation..etc! Kaya napakamot na lang sya kc pag ayaw ko eh ayaw na rin nya. Kailangan kasi pareho kami ng desisyon...para happy pareho. I'm just glad i had a girl & a boy already, that's one reason hindi ako nagmamadaling sundan si bunso.

Sundan mo na nga si Louna... hehe

princess said...

Hi, Ana,
I remember when my three sisters and I were in our conceiving modes. My eldest sister and I had the same OB-GYN. One time I went for a visit, he joked: "Ay hija, nalilito ako sa inyong magkapatid - ikaw gustong mabuntis, siya, ayaw pabuntis! Kahit ang Diyos, maloloko!" (Loosely translated: My girl, I can't understand. You want to have kids while your sister doesn't. Even God will go crazy")
France, I think, is a very nice place to rear children, isn't it?
Princess

princess said...

I am very sorry, I misspelled your name, Ann.

Analyse said...

Francesca, tagal naman ng gap na yan.

Lucille, it seems na laging mga hubs ang nagmamadali a hehe.. in my case kasi, for louna, if i let frenchguy persuade me, aba me ate or kuya na sana si louna, it's just that i wanted to finish studies first and have a job... then when i had a job, i wanted to stay at least a year bago magbuntis, kakahiya naman sa employer... and then now.. me big project kasi ako coming this mid-year, and i want to reboost my career, so tawad ulit hehe..

Princess, if we talk about financial aids, France is really good... kaya lang, it seems to me that being a working Mom is very tiring here, wala kasing all around maid/yaya working for us 7 days a week, so we have to do everything after work.. and my hubs and i are both travelling for work, so medyo complicated.. but of course, louna won't stay as an only child naman...

niceheart said...

My kids are 3 - 4 years apart. Although all of my 3 pregnancies were not planned, I was very careful not to get pregnant when the youngest was still a baby. I just didn't want to two children in diapers. Also, at 3 years old, a child is a lot more independent, can feed himself, can play by himself. I also couldn't imagine having kids that are only 1-2 years apart especially without househelp.

But of course, there are those who can manage to do that and want they're kids to be close in age. To each his own, I guess.

Analyse said...

niceheart, yes, to each his own. i know that a time will come when ill know im ready? ill just wait for it. ;)

Heart of Rachel said...

I can really relate to this one. My husband is ready for another baby. My son is turning 4 this coming July and it seems the right time. But I'm not yet ready. My husband and I are still contemplating on the idea.

geri said...

Ana, thanks for posting a question that I will have to face one day too. Haze's answer was most helpful (thanks Haze!) I envy you because you and frenchguy have the luxury of time. We don't. One classmates explanation why they opted to have a second child in a very expensive Norway made me reconsider of having just an ONLY child. She said that if she and her husband are gone they want their daughter to have a family, a sibling, to be close by to.

Analyse said...

Rachel, i hope that before Louna turns 4, i will feel ready na hehe.

Geri, what do you mean you don't have the luxury of time? .. hey Evan needs to have a sibling too ;)

Anonymous said...

my approach to this is a little more somber.

i look at what age i will be when that second kid is 20 years old and what age hubby will be.

20 is not too young nor old, and if i happen to succumb to some old age thingamajig (or my husband, or both of us) i just hope that my kids will be old enough then to handle it and take care of himself/herself.

that's how i think about it. so, if i am 35, i will be 55 when my kid is 20. that's not bad, because in 5 years time, i will be 60 and near retirement age while my kid is still maybe just finishing studies! so, it's also what's fair to the kid..