when french complains..

WHY DO THEY TREAT THEMSELVES LIKE A DOG? THEY ALWAYS BARK!

French people have always something to complain and brag about, and mind you, that adds up to their overly elevated stress intake during the day that normally ends up with stress overdose. More often than not, their stress is psychological, nothing but a magnified micro-stress that naturally transforms into a mega-stress.

It normally starts with il ne fait pas beau aujourd'hui (the weather is not good today) - this is one of the major and favourite discussions to start the day. This brief sentence will of course grow into a paragraph, then into a book, until it becomes the best-seller with millions of copies translated into different languages sold all over the world. Yes, I call them la population Big Deal! Did you know that they even claim that they're less productive when il ne fait pas beau et quand il n'y a pas de soleil (when it's not sunny), and take note, this phenomenon is depressing for many! The funny thing is that, when it's sunny, they would say c'est dommage de travailler quand il fait beau comme ça (too sad that we have to work when it's sunny like that)! Or c'est dommage de rester à l'intérieur avec un soleil comme ça (too sad to stay inside in a sunny day like that). Haha, they will never be happy!

Here's the hit list of the causes of their stress gathered from my private observatory:

1. La ligne - if I were to give a sole adjective to the frenchies, I would choose vain. Read: V A I N ! They're always preoccupied about their body's sculpture. They love to eat and it's a fact, it's part of their culture, right? They would talk about food on the table...and yes, about their balanced diet. So anything that could hinder that objective is part of their stress. They would blame the excess fats, salt, sugar or whatever...but take note, they would never compromise the quantity and quality of what they eat! Did you know that there's a pese-personne (weighing scale) in every french bathroom??? Well, for those single and looking especially.

2. Le travail - let's start with their boss. Do I have to elaborate?

3. Les dépenses - everything that touches their hard-earned money requires detailed weighing before passing to the act of spending. They always fined everything trop cher (too expensive). If they could pass without paying, they would certainly do..so if you see two french people in Paris trying to squeeze themselves together infront of the Metro entry...it's not only because they're oh-so-romantic, it's also because they want to get away by saving one Metro (underground train) ticket too.

4. Le travail - it's either they've got a lot of work...

5. Les nounous - the nannies! They're marked as endangered species here...there are even some cities where soon-to-be-moms start their nounou hunt at their first month of pregnancy! And yes, what have you - they're either angels or bitches.

6. Le travail - or they've got nothing to do...

7. Les tâches ménagères - the problem is, if both are working, who will do the chore? And if they do, of course everybody should know! They talk a lot here, just about everything infront of a cup of tea or coffee. I guess I have to pass a decree here: minimize la pause café (coffee break)!

8. Le travail - sometimes they love it..

9. Le conjoint or simply l'ami/e- if they don't have a partner, of course it's a problem. They would interest in every uninteresting stuffs just to find one. And if they have one, OMG, you would ask yourself why they still stay together. Yep, they lack discretion here!

10. Le travail - but most of the time, they don't!

Another remarkable observation about them is that it's too easy for them to say NO. This is of course in consequence with their 'complain first before you do' attitude. Imagine the negotiations you could have with a French counterpart? Well, on the other hand, if we consider the positive side, we could consider this attitude as a preventive action as they will lay down all the constraints in trying to evade from the possible difficulty. So as a negotiator, you will automatically add their 'presentiments' to your risk analysis. Isn't that great?

Well, not really...