Nothing is constant, everything changes. When I was younger, like every little girl, I also dreamed of big expensive weddings. I dreamed of having a big house. I dreamed of hitting big in the corporate world. I dreamed of the perfect guy who could give me perfect beautiful children. I never ceased dreaming though, I still dream, but from ambitious dreams, I now content myself with accessible realistic dreams. Anyway, nothing is perfect.
I hear typical questions like 'would you like a boy or a girl?' 'single or twins?', and that's almost everyday. If I were still in my dreamy world, I would certainly answer, 'a girl, a beautiful one, twin if possible, she has to have the same eyes as his dad, the same silhouette as his mom, same nose as his grandpère, patient and practical as his lola, intelligent as his dad, analytic as his mom, music inclined but sportive at the same time...and the list will surely be long!But my answer to this question is simple, as long as he/she is healthy and normal, I'll be more than happy and satisfied.
The wait is finally over, we received the result of my blood test yesterday and everything was normal. It was to detect the risk of chromosome abnormalities such as Down's syndrome etc. I guess it's just normal for us to be worried, everybody wants to have a normal child, right?
In fact, the consequence of this test is somewhat mind-disturbing. Frenchguy tried to open the topic once but I guess I wasn't ready for that yet. There are some topics where I'm more of an 'I'll cross the bridge when I get there' attitude. What if there are some abnormalities? Will you keep it or abort it? Keep it would mean lifetime sacrifice for you and lifetime suffering for your child, amidst the joy and everything a newborn baby entails. Abort it would mean saying NO to a lifetime responsibility which could provoke morality issues (if you're religious), and probably, regrets? I don't know.
We're just glad that we don't have to open up this topic and engage into a tough decision. Our baby is normal and it's all that counts.
Contente Maman
13 years ago
18 comments:
Its great to hear that the baby is healthy! Those are definitely serious questions your posing. Glad you don't have to deal with them.
Congratulations! No wonder you are one happy mommy!:)I think it is always a frightening to these tests.A friend of mine also took the same test in France and considered the unbearable thought just in case the baby is not healthy...Good thing le petit bebe is normal..bonne journée
append ko lang..
..frightening to have these tests...
That's fantastic!
at around 16 wks, we also had the option to have that test with the amniotic fluid, to look for possible abnormalities not detected in the blood test. we opted NOT to have it, bec aside from the risks the test itself entails, we knew we wouldn't resort to abortion anyway should it show abnormalities.
so yes, i know the angst you are talking about. unfortunately, for me it didn't end til the baby was finally out and i've counted all it's fingers and toes!
I'm very happy for you, that's always great news.
Amniocentesis. voilà the reason why I abandoned the thought of having a third child.
When I was pregnant with Clems, I had this so-called triple-screen blood test -- it measures the level of three chemicals in the blood and indicates the baby's risk of Down syndrome. Well the risk I had was 1/300 so I was advised to undergo this procedure (amniocentesis) . But since nothing would change our mind about keeping our child , that we wouldn't do anything about the results no matter what they'd be, and that there's always this 1 in 200 chance of miscarriage because of this, we opted not to have this procedure done. And now that I'm turning ?? (gee, I'm old!), and that I'll be taking a scary risk having a third child (since the risk is of Trisomy 21 is directly related to the age of the mother), I just convinced myself that two healthy children is enough.
I, too, am glad that everything's FINE with you and the baby. :) And hey, you've got NOTHING to worry about, you're still very young!
Take care!
Bisous!
Ruth, I guess I'm just as paranoid. Less worries now, but, still, I'm a born worry-wart i guess..
Boks, the limit now is 1/250 and the risk of miscarriage is 1/1000 so i guess they've quite mastered this procedure nowadays. My colleague did it even if she had low risk probability and she's even younger than me. Ah, i guess there's more people more paranoid than me hehe. I had 1/717, so I won't do it, and yes, I'm quite far from the age limit din hehe. Paranoid nga e..
Tin, yeah, serious questions with serious consequences...even if we didn't really talk about it, I had thousand thoughts about it..with no final decision in the end...glad that i don't even have to think about that 'decision' now..
Good to hear, Ana! COngratulations!
We were not given that option by my doctor. She said I did not need it (don't ask me why!).
Anyway, J and I did have a discussion about this. What we would do (theoretically) if there were problems. At that time, we both seriously thought about getting an abortion, should our child have down syndrome. We both felt that we were not emotionally or mentally ready to handle it. People would have had problems with our decision (theoretically) but we both would rather be honest with ourselves than risk neglecting a child who needs special attention.
just thinking about having that conversation makes me nervous. i'm such a wuss when it comes to reality - but i suppose as an adult (choke gasp tremble) you'll have to face these situations squarely in the face.
the most important thing is that everything is ok, the results are fine, and you have only 2 more trimesters to go ;-)
-kala
Thanks AnP.
My doctor sensed our worries actually, so she gave us the go signal even if I dont present any risk (it's obligatory here if the mother is 38yo and up). I guess I just don't want to have that question bugging me for the rest of the pregnancy.
Frenchguy was more for abortion for the same reason as yours. For me, abortion was an option but i prefered to wait for the results..
Kala, yeah exactly. It's a tough conversation which you have to deal at this stage.
So don't wait till you get 38 before thinking about having a baby...there are more risk!
papano na yan paglalaki yang baby mo e
ang pangalan e Mon....short for monsyure (messieurs) hehehe....nice weekend....
hi there -- found your site through ruth. congrats on the blood tests coming out normal and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
Techguy, wag namang Mon, the pronounciation will be different pa hehe..my mom will never pronounce it correctly!
Sha, that's correct. I'm always teary eyed when I see these children, and I cannot imagine myself dealing with them everyday, baka di ko kayanin.
Welcome Christine. Thanks for dropping by.
I can relate, i was tested positive for that , that's why i have to undergo amniocentesis. The waiting time was really traumatic. And the discusiion of to keep or otherwise was torturing. Thank God, Franz is normal and healthy just like your little angel! Congratulations.
joan
Joan, the long agonizing wait must have been difficult for both of you. A colleague underwent the same procedure and was really happy when the result of the amniocentesis was negative. Kami nga, we just did the blood test, and the fact that it could lead us to amniocentesis already stressed us out. I was wishing hard to have a result far from 1/250. Glad that it turned out ok. Bisous to your little angel...
Analyse, I completely understand you. I went through the same predicament: the choice of gender, the question of health, preference of twins and the dilemma of choosing a name. I wrote a journal about it in my baby's book. Gosh, it was a trying period. But in the end all that we really cared about and prayed for was a healthy baby.
Take really good care of yourself and enjoy this "bulging" period. When nine months is approaching you'll be facing another concern, stretch marks lol! I got plenty and still having them. Summer is approaching and we are going to the french riviera; I have no idea if I have the guts to put on my bikinis mwahahaha...
Lynneth, too much questions nga but it's a bonding experience for frenchguy and I, we're both excited for the coming of our little angel. I'm too into baby stuffs right now, tho i haven't bought anything yet, I always have to remind myself to take it easy, especially that I preach to frenchguy not to pamper our little one with material things (he's mukhang pasalubong kasi, baka maging spoiled brat).
Oh, stretch marks, I already have them since I entered my 3rd month in spite of the creams, my sis says it's too early (she has stretch marks too!), but what can I do? I've always been the payatot, kalansay, skeleton of the family and my circle of friends, never even depassed 50kg for my 5'5" height. One-piece, that's the best solution hehe...tho it's not practical pour faire les toilettes!
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