Nanny Blues

Posted by Analyse at 12:42 PM

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Frenchguy woke me up this morning with a bad news. I have actually asked him to call up the French Embassy in Manila to get the requirements for a long stay / au pair visa for my sister. We've long entertained this idea at the first stage of pregnancy but with the feedbacks that we received from fellow bloggers and friends (like Philippine Government banning the issuance of this kind of visa), our optimism on this matter just died a natural death. We therefore looked seriously on other options.

We had our application for a crèche municipale (municipal nursery) registered since August but we had no feedback from them yet. The said crèche municipal is just four blocks away from our residence, open from 7am to 7pm, just the perfect comfort that we need. We tried to follow up our application a month ago just to learn that it's not a matter of an equitable 'waiting list' but evaluations are based on the age of the baby (whether they have an available slot for that age or not), the program we will adapt (part time or full time), and the financial status of the parents. Knowing how French Government works, I know that we are far from being the priority on the list. It's just raging to add that frenchguy had been paying taxes for xx years now, I've been giving xx% of my salary for taxes, we are considered middle class citizens and yet, we cannot even access to a minimum aide from the government!

With this, plan B was of course hastily considered. A good friend of ours recommended her nanny to us with whom we finally gave our word of engagement. Reliability is of course an important factor for us. We will not leave our much-awaited bébé to just somebody we don't know, right? The inconvenience of this option is that, the residence of the nanny is 15 - 20 more minutes drive between our house and our workplace.

Now, we go to plan C. Filipina as I am, I would of course prefer somebody I know, preferably from my family to look after my bébé. She'll have french lessons and leave the bébé at a halte-garderie during those times (sort of nursery but accepts part-time guard only). With the nature of my job wherein business travels play an essential part, I would be serene to leave my bébé in good hands. After using my convincing prowess to my sister, we finally started the processing here...till we get the bad news this morning.

I guess frenchguy and I should have 'You and Me Against the World' as a themesong. We cannot rely on French Government, and now Philippine Government just put a barrier on one solution we've been counting on to. Life is hard!

Bébé Update

Inside that big tummy is a 4.3 kg bouncing bébé. Induced labor programmed on Tuesday. Pray for me guys.


Makis said...

I hope you'll find a good solution soon for your bébé's nanny - anybody at all from french guy's side? I'm sure all your aqua gym exercises will pay off - you'll be in my thoughts - good luck for the induced labor!

Naomi said...

hey bakla, ask ko lang ha. Wala bang one year maternity leave dyan? kasi dito sa Toronto, meron. 1 year maternity leave plus maternity benefits both for the mother and the bebe. Kung meron din dyan, ikaw muna mag-alaga kay bebe the whole year. Well at least, bonding di ba.

And so tuloy na pala ang induced labor mo? hope all ends well. Keep us posted din kay bebe after your labor ha =)

Be praying for your safety Ana, take care sis.

ruth said...

where did the time go? you're due na! induced labor, oh my! have a safe delivery, analyse!

re:nanny woes. try it again with the municipal nursery. here in germany, they prioritise (sort of) if the mother is working full time. you've got to reach a solution soon!

goodluck and take care!

soy said...

Good luck! Can't wait for the next installment of news.

Analyse said...

Makis, hopefully! Frenchguy's family lives far from us (vers Nantes - Angers), we're really you and me against the world here.

Nao, I guess I could opt for that but we never really considered this solution. First because I won't get 100% of my salary during the maternity leave - sadly, we need the money for the payment of our house. Secondly, career-wise, it won't be good for me. I just started working here last year (May 2004), and considering the employment status in France, I don't want to risk the job that I really love. Not that they could fire me, it's just that we want to try expatriation in the near future, and I need to invest on that.

I just hope I'll find that balance between personal and career mom succeeded with her 6 children, I hope I inherited that extraordinary quality...

Ruth, time flies really fast, very soon-to-be mom na ko.

Being a working mom is a plus factor..but ya know, for them, we could always pay a nanny..that's socialization..all of my colleagues have nannies, so I don't see much light on us being approved for a nursery..but still hoping..

Soy, thanks!

TinTin said...

tsk tsk, so sorry to hear it ana! Hope a better option presents itself.

schatzli said...

ay naku ana ako na lang kaya muna hmmm
i wont need papers,,, am good at child care.
well sorry about yr hassles

good luck ha baka next year pag babalik ko mag punta ko dijon makita ko si bebe

haze said...

Hey Ana honestly we had the same problem when I invited my Mom to come in France for a tourist visa (normally 3 months) so she can assist during my delivery. We've submitted all the docs needed for her visa and yet my Mom doesn't have her visa...tapos nanganak na ako't lahat hesus marya wala pa rin Mom ko.

10 days after my delivery Mom arrived, at last! Can you imagine kakainis di ba. It's so revolting !!! The fact that it's your sister who will come legally di pa nila ma accept yon. Do you already have your French nationality? then, you have the right! but if you don't right mo pa rin yon because you are married to a French national.

French Embassy in the Phils. is very inefficient (selon mon mari c'est des c******s.)and don't forget the Sarkozy effect on this matter.

Hay naku kung malapit ka lang dito ako na nag alaga kay bébé. Anyway, I'm sure there's always a solution and don't forget HE's with you, keep the faith. My prayers is always with you. Bon courage!

Duke said...

coucou c'est moi! :D

I'm sure you will find the best solution to this challenge. The never ending paper trail and waiting are part and parcel of the bureacracy of the Philippine and French Gov't. You'll find a suitable au pair in no time!

I wish you the best on your delivery. It only happens one day in your entire lifetime and it is a defining moment.

Puede na ba akong mag advance santé?! ;D Take care, ana!

JO said...

hi ana, dont worry too much, i'm sure you'll find another solution to your nanny problems.

KK said...

Sorry to hear about your nanny blues. I used to be in the work force too but I had to stay home to take care of my baby to give her the optimum care. I too tried to get my sister over but they didn't grant her the visa because she is single/new graduate/no-fat bank account.
It's just how things work in the first world countries I guess.

Take care and get plenty of sleep before your bebe comes!

racky said...

hallo Madame!
hmmm...problema nga iyan. maarte pala mga franzose. buti sa amin friendly sila sa mga working moms.
Some companies have their own nurseries.

sana may solution na dyan ASAP!
take care, malapit na.


Analyse said...

TinTin, hopefully..

Sha, di ko kaya talent fee mo no..we'll wait for you here ;)

Haze, how long did you process the tourist visa for your mom? i'm planning to invite my parents next summer, for a month lang, do you think we'll have to start the application now?

Kainis nga e, i thought since it's my sis, it will be easier, pero hindi. they're probably thinking i'll keep my sis here, hello? nope, not french yet..

hay naku, sana nga, you're just near...anyways, we already engaged a nounou..layo lang..

Duke, santé! oh well, that's what the embassy told us, check other nationality daw...hmmm, dont really like the idea..

Jo, sana nga..

KK, oh well, i guess i have to resign from the idea then...:(

Analyse said...

Neng, actually, they've been talking about that company nurseries dati..pero sa company namin, karamihan gurangski na e..

our last options is the nanny...but still hoping for the minicipal nursery...hanggang last minute yan..

Jovs said...

4.3 kg baby! Malaking baby yan ha. I hope the labour goes well. Do take care!

Re: nanny... that's the difficult thing with living in a Western country, mahirap kumuha ng yaya... and usually both parents work. Dito child care is so expensive (not that I have a child... rinig rinig ko lang...) I hope that your dilemma will soon have a solution.

Analyse said...

Jovs, that's the main reason why they will induce the delivery, ang laki na nya!

here naman, we normally have a certain amount from the govt, but we will nevertheless have to pay higher if we hire a nanny...

angelove said...

Hi Ana, hope your delivery will go just fine.

Sorry about your nanny blues, hope you'll be able to come up with a soulution soon. It's really difficult especially when both spouses work. Goodluck and take good care.

Ligaya said...

hi ana! naku malapit na talaga. I hope and pray you'll have an easy and safe delivery. take care and goodluck! =)

have a wonderful weekend! kisses to bebe. =)

aleth said...

hey ana! my prayers are always with you for a safe delivery... have faith..

nanny blues??? don't worry too much about this issue, you can find one soon, just pray..

ingat always n regards to your hubby !

Francesca said...

Ana, wala bang filipina dyan that accepts babies for keeping? Here in Nice, we got filipinas (who cannot work) bec she got a baby to take care) so to earn somthing, she took other babies and turn her flat into a nursery for 300 euros/ per baby per month, 9 to 5 Pm stay of the baby. And filipinas are good in baby care than other foregn nannies. Kaya nga sikat tayo sa domestic chores eh, hihi.
Hope you can find the best nanny for the bebe. All the best!
Oy, ang lipstick wag kalimots before going to hosp!

Airwind said...

lapit na!! mahirap talaga maghanap ng katulong kahit kapwa filipino mo na lolokuhin ka pa rin....

geri said...

Ana, good luck this Tuesday! Time flies so fasssst!

mell ditangco (this is my pseudonym) said...

hey analyse, good luck in giving birth! Your life is about to change dramatically, I am excited for you!

Analyse said...

Bethski, Ligaya, Aleth, Airwind, Geri, Mell, thanks.

Ate Amy, wala nga e. I'm the only pinay here, remember? We found a nanny na, she's french...medyo malayo lang..not that convenient!

AL said...

There is a ban on au pair leaving the Philippines but it is up to the embassy to give the visa or not. I do not think that any of the european countries would deny giving out au pair visa. Try to get your sister an au pair visa. When she gets it, let her go to Hongkong or Bangkok for a couple of days and then she can go to France from there.

That is how au pairs (living in Norway) from the Philippines do it. It is a chance to take and I understand your predicament regarding a stranger taking care of your kid. I had a russian au pair --- didn't work out :(

aleth said...

hay ana, if only i could send my former yaya over to you to help you out! she's been to france 3x din with my princess, though not french speaking but ok with babies ... easy to get visa from here...hmmm... ako na lang kaya?! he he he ..:)

Naomi said...

mishu mishu bading!!!!!!!!!!
ingats you

LINNOR said...

Hi there mummy! :) Take care of you and bebe. God bless!

Bokbok said...

salut, ana!

ça va?
today's thursday, since induced labor was scheduled 2 days ago, meaning baby's around na??? ouaisssss!!!!!! ^-^

FELICITATIONS à vous deux!!!!!!


ka uro said...

hirap talaga sa abroad ano? di tulad sa atin daming pwedeng magalaga ng kids. o well, i suppose, no place is perfect. take care.

Naomi said...

ang ganda ganda naman ni baby Louna Ann, sooooooo cute!!!!!! Me & Mildred were giggling over her cute face, keswerteng gandang bata! At ang taray ng mommy ha, ganda sexy ka na ulet parang di kanga nanganak eh ha baklaaaa! miss ka na namin bading!!!! luvs yah!!!! mwah mwah ke bebe

aleth said...

congratulations... wish you and your family all the best in health, wealth and happiness! God Bless. Ingat!

mell ditangco (this is my pseudonym) said...

i can definitely identify. my wife is set to go back to work in Jan, but my mom in law's application is still going through beaurocracy.