Breastfeeding...

Posted by Analyse at 5:48 PM

Monday, November 28, 2005

Motherhood is not as easy as we imagine, especially when we are far from our motherland, thus far from the culture and tradition we know, far from the caring presence of our parents and siblings, far from the comforting words of our friends... Unsolicited advices are just everywhere, advices which I filtered with vigilance. They are either contradicting from one person to another, or simply not compatible with my beliefs and culture.

I stayed 6 days in the maternity clinic, not because I or bébé had complications or problems, it's because breastfeeding wasn't well established yet. The first 3 days, my colustrum which should nourrish bébé was, hélas, not enough. Bébé, who was big at birth needed more than I could offer. I was obliged to give her milk complements. My breastmilk started to flow 4 days after the birth of bébé, when breastfeeding was close to impossible. I was aching everywhere due to fatigue - physically, morally and psychologically - breastfeeding became a veritable ordeal. I nevertheless continued breastfeeding. It was a choice I made which I will pursue no matter what the cost. I just wanted the best for my bébé.

On the 5th day, I finally slipped on my normal clothes and dressed up bébé, both excited and enthusiastic to find our very own place. Frenchguy was there early in the morning to drive us back. Bad news, they won't allow us to go. Cause: breastfeeding!

Fed up as I was, I finally decided to try breastpumps, thinking that they will finally allow us to go. Of course, I was dreaming. I again stayed one more day for them to teach me how to feed my bébé, criticizing me of my choice of pumping my milk. No matter how I explain that it would be temporary, just the time for my breast to heal, they nevertheless enjoyed the time talking to me like experts, treating me like a moron, traumatizing my still weak morale, adding to my already-high level of anguish.

Never had I appreciated home... but wait, my ordeal isn't complete yet.

Last week, my excited inlaws drived all the way from their region to see bébé. My relationship with them is very smooth, I could even consider myself as spoiled brat as they do everything to please me - especially in cuisine!

Hélas, my MIL's unsolicited advices just suffocated me! To my surprise, she is a die-hard fan of bottlefeeding! In fact, it was the time when Europe relanced their industries when she had babies. Bottlefeeding was of course prioritized during that time to enhance consumption, to the detriment of breastfeeding!

Imagine her watching me feeding my bébé, taking note of the time, telling bébé to speed up, asking me how I could measure the quantity, telling me I could switch to bottlefeeding, recounting to me her experience, almost blaming breatsfeeding each time bébé cries... I was stressed out! After 3 days of total torture, I talked to frenchguy about the moral harassment I've been experiencing. He talked to her maman and that end up my ordeal. She of course doesn't want any harm, she just wanted to help out, to share her experience, to participate in her own way... but no, thanks!

Breastfeeding is a challenge. It's a choice. It's a sacred moment between a mother and her child, a moment of satisfaction. I'm glad I continued with my choice inspite of the discouraging encouragement of some. It's a moment when I see my bébé change before my eyes, a moment of innocent smiles, a moment of communication... I love this moment!

My bébé at 2 weeks old...

29 comments:

JO said...

It's really hard to start breastfeeding... but once it starts to flow, then everything is ok...

Until you decide to stop breastfeeding. If you find that starting is painful... its much more painful to stop! (at least in my case)

Soy said...

breastfeeding a child is the best ever decision a mother could make. good luck Ana and enjoy your newfound skill of breastfeeding!

TinTin said...

Hang in there, Ana. Time and again, it has been proven that breastfeeding is the best for bebe.

Bless said...

Breastmilk is best for babies...eventually you'll do great with your breastfeeding An.

Hey i like bebe's kilay..pormang porma ah =) Cute lil one.

DOPS said...

ang cute ng baby, hehehe...

baby girl po ba or boy, di kase ako masyado na-update, san mas nagmana, sa mama or papa...

Dops

Ka Uro said...

hi ana,
being a male i have no unsolicited advice for you. siguro kung pwedeng mag-breast feed and lalaki i'll tell you to ask french guy to do the breast feeding. hahaha. but kidding aside, i think what you're doing, sticking to what you believe is right for you and your baby is admirable. i wish you and bebe all the best.

Naomi said...

biglang lakini bebe bakla!

ruth said...

breastfeeding is a confidence game. once you doubt your capacity to breastfeed, naku dyan na magsisimula ang problems mo. it's not an instict, it doesn't come automatically, it can be painful and inconvenient for you, pero breastfeeding is the best for your child. if you really intend to continue breastfeeding, kailangan mong isara ang tenga mo for those saying you can/should supplement.

if you need help or have questions, ask away! breastfed my son for more than 1 and a half years! :)

A useful book is Dr. Sear's Breastfeeding Book. I recommend it sobra!

Analyse said...

Jo, hope it won't be that painful. She's not 100% breastfed, we give her milk supplements so papa frenchguy could participate..

Bless, re: kilay. Mana sa nanay hehe..

Dops, it's a girl!

Ka Uro, frenchguy's doing his share with bottlefeeding ;)

Ruth, thanks, i'll check on that book..

angelove said...

Hi Ana, I was just contemplating about breastfeeding as I heard it on the news how some people have certain reaction on breastfeeding in public.

Wow, it's great that you shared your experience. I can only imagine. It is in my observation that people do bombard expecting mothers or new mothers with unsolicited advices. Could be irritating as other people insists on what they believe is the right way. But you are of course the judge of what is best for your baby.

Just keep on keeping on. Bebe's so cute.

Ligaya said...

hi Ana! breastmilk as we all know is the best food for baby. I know breastfeeding isn't easy at all, pero alam kong makakaya mo iyan. just hang in there! =)

ang concern ko naman ngayon ay how to wean Ninev. I started once pero di natuloy, and she'll be turning 16 months in a few days!

btw, bebe has a beautiful name, and she's so cute! =)

Analyse said...

Angelove, communicate with your baby, and forget those unsolicited advices, just take those which suit you..nakakaturete nga minsan, esp when it's your first time.

Ligaya, my mom breastfed us till we got 2 yrs old daw, so me time ka pa..i remember her putting some lipstick minsan sa breast nya, and told our bunso na masakit na daw at me dugo hehe, i can't remember tho if it was effective, bon courage!

haze said...

Mom knows best! So whatever you decide for your child will always be profitable. Giving advice has its adavantages & disadvantages! Some people are good in it, (unsolicited advice) but sometimes it doesn't apply to us. We are all dissimilar individuals therefore, we all have diverse experiences.

I guess it's normal that PIL & us has always this disaccord but we only have the one target or aim for our children to give out the best.

If breastfeeding is imperative in you & you have the capacity to provide then do it without hesitation. Do not mind all those negative comments, whatever it is.....ika nga sa tagalog pasok sa tenga labas sa kabilang tenga! But if it's constructive then it's up to you if you will apply it. Anyway Ana, just hold on and follow your instinct! You are one courageous Maman! Breastfeeding & being a working Mom is not an easy task. Goodluck and continue the straight path...Kissess to you especially to bébé Louna. A bientôt!!!

sha said...

ana wala ako bebe so i wont give u advices hehehe
all I say is its your baby...its your decision di ba

I have been too busy...no I havent flown out.. not just yet

Lucille said...

Hi Analyse! well, all i can say is...just continue breastfeeding your baby! it gives lots of benefits both you & your bb as well social & economic benefits! You'll never regret it! me, i breastfeeded Cathy & Louis and i'm proud of it! Only i dunno how it works for a working mom that the same time is breastfeeding..maybe you should use breastpumps & preserve in the refrigerator. Hope everything will be fine for you. Breastfeed your bb as much as possible esp. while you're not yet back to work. Bon courage et bisous à ta joli bb!

Jane said...

Hi there Anna: Your baby is sooo cute and adorable. Congratulations, I know that you will be a great mommy. Lucky you, we've been trying hard to conceive for a year now but no luck. Stress siguro. Keep us posted, I love reading your entries about being a new mom. Take care and God Bless!

Pipay said...

Hi Ana, bloghopping from nene's house. I could still remember what happened to me seven months ago when those insensitive nurses can't understand that i'm not a milking cow but a passionate mother. Sino ba ang hindi gustong makainin (painumin in this instance) ang iyong mahal na anak na dinala mo ng 9 na buwan sa iyong sinapupunan.

Isang pride ang pagiging nanay at lalo pang karangalan ang mabigyan mo ng pagpapala mula sa Diyos ang iyong anak.

Bilang ina, bukal sa kalooban natin na mahalin ang ating mga pinakamamahal na anghel.

Ito yung pinaka mahalagang pagkakataon, every time you'll give your self to her,it bonds u and the baby.

Matibay pa yun sa Mighty Bond. hehehe (pinapatawa lang kita ha.)

Analyse said...

Haze, thanks! I'll try my maximum, tho I have difficulty right now, as you said, we cannot measure what bébé takes..it's traumatizing me!

Sha, so where are you now? last chat was in greece.. hmmm, pag detective lang ako, mahihirapan akong sundan ka.

Lucille, I guess i'll use breastpumps when time comes...i mix between bottle and breast feeding now so bébé won't have difficulty when i get back to work..

Jane, be cool. sometimes stress is a big hindrance on baby conception...it will come, in His time..just be patient..

Analyse said...

Pipay, very well said! hehe; mas matibay pa nga yun sa mighty bond!

Airwind said...

heeyyyaaa kay beybi!! :)

Agring said...

Breastfeeding is the best. And yes it's challenging. I've been there and done that! Mahirap talaga, masakit. I was crying you know! Hubby was afraid na mag-give up ako. But it never occurred to me to give up. I'm not a quiter.

And yes it's also hard to stop breastfeeding. I tried to stop when Abby turned 6 mos. pero I couldn't do it hanggang nag 1 year s'ya. Two weeks after her birthday I stop beastfeeding dahil I have no choice. I went back to work!

Anyway, Keep breastfeeding! You can do it...Kisses to bebe.

Naomi said...

di ako maka-relate bading, bottle feed kasi mga bugoys ko. Inverted kasi ang mga nipples ko, naaawa lang ako pag nahihirapan sila. Naiyak pa nga ko minsan nung nanginig na sa gutom si Kyle.

pero breastfeeding is the best for babies sana talaga. Sakin walang

Analyse said...

Agring, wow, i wish i could get the same duration of maternity leave. i'll breastfeed bébé as long as i can, hopefully continue with it even if i get back to work (i'll be back come february na).

Nao, i've experienced that too. yung nanginginig na si bébé sa gutom, grabe, nakaka-torture. that's why i was obliged din to give her milk supplement.

but hey, bottlefeeding is good too. sometimes kasi, parang we somewhat criticize those who bottlefeed, e sometimes di lang talaga pede.

Naomi said...

oo nga bading, if i could only breastfeed them kaso inverted nipples na nga, ayaw pa tumulo ng gatas, hirap makasipsip. Nakakaawa lang ang baby..

alam mo bang sabi ng nanay ko na sutil daw lalaki ang mga bugoys ko kasi gatas daw ng hayop ang dinede. Haaay..

pero so far, mababait naman sila. My mom's just joking =)

ingat bakla, miss you na! miss ka na namin ni Mildred. Kiss ke bebe pala mwa mwah!!!

KaDyo said...

What a very beautiful babe =), congtrats you you "mommy analyse".

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.

KaDyo said...

sori..bebe dapat =)

Analyse said...

Nao, hehe, i love how you call your bugoys, im sure theyre excited to be with you again..

Kadyo, ;).

Sassafras said...

blog hopping from Ka Uro's. I hope that by now, your milk has been established :) my baby is now nearly 4 months old, like you i had a hard time breastfeeding! i even wrote about it here (http://sassymoon.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_sassymoon_archive.html)---but unlike you, I chose to go the breastpump route. Na-trauma kasi ang baby ko and she refused to take the breast no matter how hard I tried! Still, she has been fully breastmilk fed for 2 months already, and so far so good. It's challenging to keep on breastfeeding, you have to really make time for it. I bring my pump with me and the cooler everywhere just so I could provide a good supply for my baby always. Still, no regrets. It's all worth it for our baby's health.

Julius said...

Hahhaa. Katawa naman ung post mo na to! tinarayan mo tuloy ang MIL mo. :) pero ok lang yan. :) Good luck po!