Blogging, My Reliable Friend

Posted by Analyse at 6:34 PM

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Does that sound sad? Probably..

I have been contemplating last night and finally came to a realization that well, I have no friend here. I mean, somebody I could call and meet up at a café in 5 minutes. Really. Of course I have my colleagues at work but well, it's as if, I didn't get out of my office, right? We will surely talk about our jobs and criticize big bosses non-stop.

I've met some Filipinas who live in this same city. But like a school girl who attended class in the middle of the school year, these ladies already formed a circle of their own. They tried to welcome me but I was probably too young for them, too formal, not always available.. well, I had this impression that I gave them a hard-to-reach aura. I don't know why. Probably because of the two Filipino gatherings I attended, I brought a bottle of wine while the rest of the girls brought pansit, ginataang bilo-bilo, adobong manok.. (I just arrived from a work travel for that two times I met them!). While they talked about how they learn French and how scarce job is in France, I hesitantly and timidly talked about my job while fighting a jetlag. They probably thought I was too boring. I thought they were too Frenched. Inspite the adobo, the ambiance lacked pinoyness. Or simply because we weren't at all at the same wavelength. Ewan. I'm tempted to send a message to one of them but I'm afraid of refusal. Communication after that was exceptionally rare. But well, in France, not sending a message for more than a month even to their closest friend is not anormal.

The pinoys I've met whom I totally appreciate are unfortunately living too far from Dijon. Not a 5-minute drive anyway. Occassional phone calls and once-in-a-blue-moon interrupted chats (between cooking and tending to our kids) keep me going.

Yahoo group email is great. My highschool friends started one. We exchanged stories, experiences.. my, we've gone a long way. We had very seldom meet-ups simply because we're scattered in the 4 corners of the globe. But lovely at it may seem, busy lives has got over it nonetheless. Now, it looks like it's slowly succumbing into a natural death. Physical contact is all that's missing.

Friendster is a great social network. I found long lost friends (or rather, they found me)! I sent a message to one of them, informing her that Hey, I'm just around the corner. We could probably meet up. and Know what, we will be around your area this coming spring. Care for a coffee somewhere? I didn't get any response and I know, she logged-in several times after my message. I thought, it would have been better if she didn't find me. At least, I wouldn't know she would ignore my messages.

Am I scaring / intimidating everybody? Honestly, what (first) impression do I leave you ?

Since nobody wanted to sip a good coffee with me while chit-chatting with what's happening around the world, I end up writing my thoughts through this blog. And honestly, I get more comments here than all my friends and family combined. Just a thought, when I was in NY last year, I met a HS friend and a blogger friend. Now that I think about it, I'm sure I knew more about my blogger friend's life than my HS friend's. That's what blogging could do.

Before I end my rants, if you don't want to drink coffee with me, I could also go with beer, wine, rhum, different cocktails, martinis, tequilas, whatever. Tea? Pwede rin. Do I sound desperada? Medyo hehe.

43 comments:

+ Liz + said...

A couple of beer will do and a great coffee later on. =B

+ Liz + said...

How could they see you as boring? When I find your blog and kwentos so interesting because of the adventures and places you've been to. Maybe I'm a good listener. Oh well. But I definitely love a chit-chat. Hang in there =B

Photo Cache said...

bloghopping from geri's. girl, you just verbalize my feelings. coffee sounds good, have cyber coffee with you any time.

Analyse said...

Liz, thanks for listening all the time.. you'll not get only beer and coffee from me, i'll prepare you my version of long island ice tea ;)

Photo Cache, oh thanks. that means i'm not alone. cyber coffee alright!

feng said...

hugs from here Analyse. hope you'll feel good really pretty soon. cheer up, girl!

oh eh ako, pwede na sa Gin at Calli. have you tried that? sige na, smile ka na.

Ann said...

Maybe you're too busy with your work kaya wala ng time makipag tsikahan or iba yung interesting para sa kanila.

But you know iba yung may kahit isa man lang na kaibigan na andyan lang malapit syo, yung anytime ay pwede mong istorbohin or tawagan kahit wala naman talagang important matter to discuss.

K said...

Hi Analyse,

Found your blog through Geri's. Just want to share that I found one of my best buddies in Friendster. You'll find yourself or your friend will find you someday. Goodluck!

ScroochChronicles said...

Its amazing how blogging brings people together. I mean, if you had been here in the Philippines and not blogging, what are the chances that we'd know each other. Nil!! I guess blogging is just a more high-tech way of meeting friends. The world evolves and so does the way we meet and greet. Ok lang yan..lilipas din yan.

Beer? Aba...matagal tagal na akong di nakakahawak ng SMB but now that you've mentioned it...hala, halika :)

Christianne said...

Ganoon talaga, Pinoys abroad are busy with family and chores, it's harder to find close friends our age that you can call anytime!

julie said...

Ana, ano ba yan. How would you be able to bring home cooked Pinoy style food when you are busy? Its true, we know more about other bloggers' goings-on than those of our real friends who don't blog, ironic isn't it? Di bale, just make sure we will have to find time to meet when you get to go here in Pinas. Yan sigurado, masaya at welcome ka :D

Btw, that Luxor place, is that the setting for the game?

Ladynred said...

Give me a call if in case you are around Ontario Canada. I'll go for a tea! hehe

Analyse said...

Feng, thanks ;).

Of course, I've tried all that. That's in the list of units in engg schools, lol.

Mommy Ann, exactly. I just miss my pinoy life, i think.

K, thanks, i have all my best buddies in friendster too.. they're just physically too far from me. Thanks for visiting ;)

Cookie, haha, cool! I'll take that invitation pag napadpad ako dyan.

Christianne, and that's just too sad, I think.

Julie, yeah sure. i know that it's a lot easier to organize something in pinas than here. I complain but if for example you invite me at 5pm, I won't be able to make it for sure.. i still have to fetch Louna from the Nanny's place.. i don't normally go out at 5 even if I could.. dami dahilan no.

Setting for the game? Sorry ha, I'm quite disconnected.. game for what hehe..

LadynRed, sure hehe. I'll take that invite!

+ Liz + said...

Cge Long island ice tea nalang :D

geri said...

I can already imagine that party scene, you trying to downplay your good job and fluency in french so that they won't feel worse about your situation. Most of the filipinos here do have their own groups too kaya I am forever grateful that I have met some filipinas from the ASAWA forum at least we also have our own circle although there is still the problem of time and distance. I think ganito lang talaga ang life in a big country, we can never compare it to the kind of friendships and connection we have in the Philippines. Kaya thank God for the internet. I hear you!

geri said...

typo = I meant "their" situation. Sorry.

Lucille said...

hi analyse! if i did'nt see u dropped by, di ko rin maisipan bisitahin ka dito. bad me. pasensya na di lang ako nakapag bloghop lagi. tinamad. yong mga nag-iwan ng msgs ang ma-hit back ko na lang kaagad. hope soon sisipagin uli ako sa blogging...
Wow, u went to egypt pala. great photos and glad to know u had fun. malaki na si louna!

Hey, pag mapadaan ka dito and have more time, just give me a ring and i will be happy to welcome you in our home and lets have some coffee or tea...ipagluto pa kita. hihi
You know my circle of friends here before lagi kaming nagkikita, pero simula ng nagwowork na sila naku once in a blue moon na lang kami nagkikita. Pero okay lang, i understand them of course, that's why also i don't ask them to cook and bring foods pag may gathering ako sa bahay. Importante magkikita ulit kami.

Rhada said...

hey ana...my sentiments exactly...parang hirap din ako makipag-socialize dito sa bagong mundong ginagalawan ko...i've met a few pinoys na mukhang accomodating naman, pero hanggang dun lang..ewan ko ba..lika, kape tayo at magbuhusan ng sentimyento de patatas.

re friendster snob, may experience din ako jan. I found a college classmate sa friendster so na-excite ako and I invited her to be my friend (sa friendster)....not only na hindi sya nag-reply...ginawa pa nyang "private" yung profile nya. sa loob-loob ko, "hudas ka, akala mo kung sino, chaka naman, yabang!" nyahahaha. up to this day hindi ko alam kung bakit sya nang-snob at wala din akong kiber na alamin. ;-)

karen said...

hi there. kakalungkot no? i feel the same sometimes, and the sad thing is nandito naman ako sa pinas! hahaha..

anyway, good thing blogs, emails and other venues like friendster are available to us. otherwise, super lungkot ang buhay.

cheer up, you have lots of friends here in cyberspace. ako, pwede din mag-apply? chika anytime! =)

Francesca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Francesca said...

I can relate Ana. Buti na lang may Butler ako na kinukulit, kaya my days are okey.

Pero meron akong isng Pinay na friend. Katabi lang ng villa ng Boss ko ang studio.
Dati, gusto niya daan ako everyday, before going to work.

Lumaon, umiwas na.I feel, because of andito mga anak ko sa France.Once or twice, ininvite nya mga anak ko to eat with her.sineryoso ko naman. When the day comes, she was not in her studio. Ni wala pasabi or excuses, basta na lang wala.Off pa cel.

Everytime I call, message handler lang.Di niya sinasagot. 3 months na. Once, I told Butler to call her, sumagot siya.when Butler put it off, she called Butler's no!
takot tuloy si bading.

So I gather, ayaw na niya sa akin.

The only friend I got is Michel.
I can relate anything, includes blogging.

My post in my blog today is same feeling. Seems, ayaw na ng mga coffeemates ko sa akin...

waaahh!

Francesca said...

I Delete the fist kasi double post, lol

i discussed with michel, na we are same feeling, and he said,
Sabi ko, open ka to any drinks,
mag open ka na ba raw ng pub?
haha.

Siya, buti me louna ka to cheer y up.
Ako , with al pacheeky or cheeky-to! haha.

haze said...

Hi Ana, I'm back !

If you only leave just beside Marseille we could always hang out and grab a bite, hiking, chit chatting, sharing recipes name it ! I could also keep Louna with me while you and Laurent are away !

Just my 2 cents, it is just maybe your personal impression, boring isn't the right term. You are apparently a busy WAHM but you can reach out. Try to call them and it's probably them who are hesitant because you are always away and some ways half frenched na ! I mean they are just starting to learn french, embracing the new culture and everything so they are excited on these new things going on in their lives. Siguro sa tingin nila they can't reach out on you kasi professional ka compared to them (that's how I assessed it). Don't you think they are thinking the other way ? Na baka ikaw ang snob? Kasi Engineer ka, kasi magaling ka na mag french, gets mo ? Anyway, goodluck Ana sige na wag ka na mahiya, ano pang ginagawa tawagan mo na sila !!!

Kelan ka ba mapapagawi ulit dito ?

chung said...

that is soo sad analyse! i am here for coffee, red wine (but not french, i prefer south african, hehe), tea or beer for kuentuhan about louna or anything at all :)

your friends don't have to be filipinos naman diba? but i understand na mahirap ngang makahanap ng friends in the workplace. matatanda na kasi ata tayo, that's why it's harder for us to gain friends the way we did nung bata pa tayo

over here, we are lucky because there's so many ex-globers who are now working in uae. and we are all in the same wavelength, technically or humor-wise (note: green-minded, hehe) :)

chung said...

i forgot to comment dun sa egypt stories mo! inggit ako!!!!! :)

Soy said...

You're not alone. I feel the same way you do. I don't have Pinoy friends here either. I haven't met a blogger in my pinoy community and anyway, most of them work in the health care sector, so like you said, i'm not on the same wavelenght as them. And no, i don't think you're desperada.:)

Fenrisar said...

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mitsuru said...

minsan mas ok pa ngang kaibigan mo dito di mga pinoy. at least ligtas ka sa tsimis. he-he.

anyway, di naman lahat. btw, if the lagalag in me find myself in dear old france again someday (i want to visit mont st michel for) i will drop by in dijon to pay homage to Saint Benignus and visit e Palais des Ducs et des États de Bourgogne and maybe you can invite me for a bottle of burgundy but ako ang taya. ha-ha.

i'm still in my hibernation mode, blogwise. tamad mag sulat, so just busy trolling cyberspace and reading blogberks' blogs to pass the time:)

Heart of Rachel said...

Hi Ana. I understand how you feel. I really hope to meet you in person on your next visit in the Philippines. I'd love to enjoy a good chat with you.

duke said...

kung malapit lang sana ako sa inyo I will have coffee with you :D

Linnor said...

I could relate.... I've been in Cebu for more than 15 years and developing friendships didn't actually come easy. Now I have about 2 close friends outside of relatives... hehehe...

If you happen to be in town, I would gladly have coffee with you... or wine. :D

FRANCINE said...

ana, come here in bordeaux and we will go at the café. sus yan lang pala eh hehehe.just kidding.sus ako im turning 1 year pero la pa rin akong pinoy frens dito pero oks lang. snub kasi sila eh di naman ako mangongotang lolz

Anonymous said...

It's all about meeting 'like minds' - always a hard thing to find, even back home in the Philippines.


-DP

Leah said...

I agree, I can relate. My only girlfriends around are my sisters, and we dont see each other as often as we want to anymore. My co-workers are just coffee or tea time companions for 10 minutes or a walk to the cafeteria. I miss my Pinay girlfriends from back home who I havent seen in more than 10 yrs ago. Its probably going to be awkward when we see each other again. Its good to have cyber-friends. Maybe we can have a virtual party?

Cheers!

La Pomme said...

Hey, Analyse! I hope you're doing well. One thing I've found out, like you have, is that a common country of origin doesn't necessarily build instant friendships. I'm lucky I've already made few great girl and guy friends over here -- almost all of them Europeans. The secret for me has been finding people with whom I share common interests -- apart from work, of course. I tell them I'm a writer in English, and -- ayayay -- since nobody speaks English, tapos ang usapan!

La Pomme said...

Ooops, sorry I didn't sign off correctly: it's Apol of Provenciana.

Princess said...

Dropped by to wish you and your loves a Glorious and Happy Easter. Have a great Easter week.
Seeing Egypt is on my wish list, too. Those pics make me long for it even more.....

Tita P

Shakadal said...

See here or here

raqgold said...

hi ana - i can relate. kaya nga ang saya ko when i met the PMN moms in manila e; and the other bloggers. it seems i found the totoong tao by blogging. kasi dito i concentrate sa aking family life nagkaron lang ako ng social life away from the family when i started joining the sports club and when my hubby became the president of the parents' council :D

gail said...

Tara let's have coffee kahit via webcam ;)

lovelyn said...

Hehehe, that was funny. The wine against adobo is classic. I'm one of those who would be willing to have that coffee with you. Dami na namin ha, basing sa mga nag comments dito.

auee said...

Wag kang mag-alala you're not alone. Ako din ganyan. I was driven to depression regretting not having made any close friends. I kept asking myself the same question, is it me?? hehe I also made that note, that maybe we're just not at the same wavelength. Exact same sentiments. Nakakalungkot.

I'd like to say that it's different now, but it's not. I have made good friend where we live, but it's different. I cannot cry to them. I cannot really be myself. To them I am gregarious & fun. I'd hesitate to show them my weakness or share anything really intimate to me. Not that I do that in my blog all the time, but there are topics I know I cannot discuss with them because it's not their cup of tea.

So I guess what I'm saying is... want to come around for tea sometime? hehe But then since preggers ka, hanggang juice ka lang. Though when you do visit London and you do not make contact with me, magtatampo ako hehe

greymom said...

Hi Analyse,
I hear you. It is really hard to find friends when you're uprooted from your home. And the Filipinos in other countries are so different (not all naman, of course). Kaya one cannot be blamed if she doesn't warm up easily to other people. I feel the same way.
And you know what? I feel like I let my emotions out more in my blog than in real life. I had the same though - my blogger friends know more about me than most friends.
And hey, I can share whatever drink you want! ;)

Dhanggit said...

come here in the southern france at araw araw tayo nina haze magchichikahan :-) bring a thermos of coffee i'll bake you a cake at sagot ko ang kwento :-)