Why I Can't be a SAHM

This is a cry from a Career Mom trying to justify herself. Hear her lament.

Job is not Everywhere in France

France is far from being the El Dorado for non-French job hunters regardless of the number of diplomas you have. Firstly, language is a BIG barrier. Another is equality. Though they cry out loud that Egalité is a French emblem, racial discrimination is still a rampant social distress. A job hunter named Mohammed won't have equal opportunity as someone named Pierre, even if both were born in France. Go measure for someone named Analisa born thousands of miles away from France.

During my recent business trip in Thailand, I bumped to one of the big bosses based in Bangkok. He was surprised to know that I am based here in France. I could still remember his reaction when he said in his inquisitive tone 'A Filipina working in Dijon?', then his endless questions on how I arrived here in France till how I bagged the job. Isn't that a yelling evidence of how white collar jobs are reserved to these royal bloods? Take my situation to the US setting and nobody will be surprised. Filipinos are part of their workforce, right? In fact, if not because of my previous working experience with the same company in the Philippines, I don't think they would hire me.

That said plus the current job scarcity France is facing, I think I'll need a great motivation to quit my job.

I Love My Job (because of …)

Flexible Time : I’m not the typical 8am-5pm employee. I could go to the office past 9am. I could take my vacation in synch with my Nanny’s. I could go home as early as 4pm. I manage my time.

Multinational Exposure : and since it’s a French company, we’re the boss. Ain’t that a bonus?

Business Travels : I loved it. When I signed my contract where it was written that around 30% of my time will be spent outside of France, I was excited. I was excited to the idea of having somebody waiting for me at the airport, holding a cardboard with my name written on it, me feeling like a VIP. Now, it starts to tire me up especially when I know that there’s a little girl patiently waiting for me.

I love what I’m doing. The best part is that I’m being paid to do what for me is a dream-come-true. I think this one is the most essential part, right?

I Need Cash

Who don’t anyway. Apart from all the monthly payables, I need my own money to keep my sanity. Frenchguy is quite tight with his money. He’s got this bad habit of saying he’s got no money and he’s got this mindset that everything is expensive. Though unintentional, he made me feel I was a parasite when I was not working yet. Me who was financially independent pre-Frenchguy time. He said I was stupid to think that way. Mea culpa.

No, I’m not complaining, I just need cash.

I’m at my Best at Work

I’m only excellent when I’m being paid. And nope, I’m not proud of that. I’m a lazy bum at home. I hate cleaning the house, I hate cooking, I hate most of the household chores. I just do all of them because I’m obliged to. And of course, Frenchguy does 99% of the job. But that doesn’t make me less of a wife or a Mom. I hope we’re clear with that. Call me lazy but don’t call me Bad Mom.

Though I have all the perfect reasons why I can’t be a SAHM, the dream of being one still haunts me at times like this - arriving from a business travel and finding Louna with long nails and dirty teeth.

Did I tell you that Moms and Dads are not the same?

I'm Back

With a vengeance! Francine just tagged me. This girl wanted to know how vain I am and contrary to what I thought I am, I still have a shy of vanity on my bones. I thought I was close to negative. Well.

You Are 19% Vain

You don't have a vain bone in your body - almost as a matter of principal. You demand to be judged on who you are, not what you look like.

How Vain Are You?

Francine, summarizing that supposed-to-be 19% of vanity gave me a real hard time. Here's my list:

1. I have 4 different shades of eye shadows that I rarely use.
2. I have 3 eyeliners which I used once. They're now collecting dusts on my dresser.
3. I use mascara everyday since probably a year now. Not that I'd like to have that Betty Boop look. Wala lang.
4. I normally wear shirts and jeans. The very rare time that I wear skirts and high-heeled shoes at work, I have all the eyes focused on me, men and women alike - ready to blame me if it rains!
5. But honestly, I love to see myself dressed with a lot of taste and feminity. Ang hirap lang i-assume hehe. It's just not me.
6. I just had what it feels like a one-year-shopping-spree with my recent trips to the US and Asia. Not that I'm vain, mas mura kasi dun hehe.
7. I normally wear those clothes being displayed on shop windows. Not because they're the latest trend, it's simply because I hate shopping and the easiest way to finish shopping is to ask the saleslady if they have my size.
8. I was driving an old pawis-steering car before we changed to our car now. And honestly, who cares.
9. Ok, this is vain. I sometimes buy trendy clothes for me and Louna but I make sure I don't pay that much. There's being vain and being practical at the same time, right?
10. I hate to see my bulgy tummy so I do belly exercises, like once a month hehe. Sorry, you have business with a lazy gurl here. And me thinks being vain and lazy at the same time are simply not compatible.

Oh by the way, I'd like to know your honest opinion. Do I look/sound vain? I find that 19% vain description of me so cute hehe.

Updates coming next..

Temporary Hiatus

I have been hiding behind the scenes lately (that reads: blogging world) and I’m afraid it would continue till I get back to France. Work has been taking a lot of my energy lately that I feel drained at the end of the day. In fact, my stay here in the Philippines was extended for few more days because of a big problem in the plant and I need to squeeze my brain from day in to day out to find technical solutions. And I mean having my brains turning even inside the taxi, while taking a bath, while dining, while watching TV.. I mean, everytime. Goodness gracious, they’re back to normal now, buti na lang, I could go back to normal life too. My brain is still bleeding and malfunctioning tho. Thanks to me - boss, can I have a raise??

And since I never went out yet since I arrived here (my social life was in its all-time low – I was doing the hotel-work-hotel itinerary), I finally called up some friends this afternoon and voila, I have my calendar fully-booked till my last day here. That would mean I won’t have time to blog and bloghop too. Catch up with you guys soon. Promise.

PS: Louna starts to understand pretty well. Read how she revealed my cooking prowess to everybody here.

My Little Frenchy at 19 Months Old

She starts to dream big...a lot. I mean she's got a lof of dreams. I was just wondering what suits her most. What do you think?

She dreams to be a Dancing Queen. So, supportive parents as we are, I taught her the first step (wriggly pampery arse), Frenchguy the second one (incredible hulk style). Hehe.

See her wriggle here.